Sad Goodbyes

Its that time of year again ... the time that leaves me with a pit in my stomach and reminds me that establishing temporary international friendships represents both the best and worst of being an expat. We have met so many interesting people in our last three years! Our address book has grown to include snail mail addresses on four continents. We share e-mails with friends we met in QD who now (again) live in their original time zones, or in some cases new ones. But sometimes, even though the world is growing smaller with so many great ways to stay in touch, it can still feel like a big and lonely space when good friends say zai jain.

Last night we collected EHJ from her classmate's home. Four little girlies had gathered to bid her farewell. They had spent their fleeting hours together in a carefree way fitting for six and seven year olds... climbing trees, eating pizza and creating general mayhem. But, when it was time for the mommas to come, and the exchange of addresses and e-mails began among the adults, that the little ones grew more quiet, and the reality hit.

EHJ's little blond friend from Mexico collapsed on the love seat of the fully furnished villa she will call home for only three more days. Three more sleeps before jetting home to North America, and for all intents and purposes, probably never again seeing the other three girlies she had just entertained at her fun and frenzied farewell party.

Last night EHJ nestled in to our big bed. (With a month of relatives we've been playing musical beds anyway, but last night it was especially appropriate that our gentle middle cozied in with mum and dad.) We talked about friends moving, about our own eventual departure, and on a very real level I could empathize with my baby. I too have experienced that overwhelming sense of loss, and the accompanying reality, that this is part of the price we pay for the life we live.

The benefits still out way the costs... we live a life in a foreign land forging deep, relationships with a select few people over a relatively short period of time. But since our shared experience is so profound, and so few others will ever fully understand what our experience has been, those friendships that were founded @ international playgroups, fellowships and PTA become lifelong, even if we may not set foot on the same country or continent again with these unique sets of friends.

Good bye our dear friends, know you are not forgotten. Thank you for the memories and for the shared experience. We are so glad our times in the Middle Kingdom overlapped and that our lives intersected in this way.

Good bye. Zai Jian. Hosta la vista. God Bless.