Twinkie Talk & Grocery Carts

There's a scene in my favorite chick flick, Steel Magnolias, where Shirley MacLaine's character Miss Ouiser Boudreaux lament's to Olympia Dukakis' character Miss Clairee about words she shouldn't have spoken.

"I shouldn't have said that," the spunky southern woman says as she navigates through the Piggly Wiggly with an open box of Twinkies in her cart.

"I shouldn't have said that... and I didn't mean it."

"Ouiser," Miss Clairee replies dramatically in her slow iconic Louisiana drawl, "Nobody pays any attention to you."

"But I feel bad," Miss Ouiser continues, "I'm an awful person."

"No you're not," her friend replies matter-of-factly. "You'd give your dog a kidney if he needed one."

And that seems to satisfy her crochety friend with a conscious.

Ouiser nibbles on a Twinkie, her faith restored.

Oh how I am in need of such absolution.

There are things I should not have said.

Things that come back to haunt me.

Words I said when I was tired or loney.

Things I said about living in China.

Last week it was me navigating my cart through the grocery. I picked up Mr Johnson's noontime call on my mobile, and heard the words that felt like a punch to the gut.

His program has been cut. Our time in China will draw to a dramatically quick end. He would have to sit on the details for 48 hours, until he notified his team. We would wait to tell the girls.

What a long, sad, hard week it has been.

He told his engineering team. We told our girls. We shared the news with our friends in QD.

Mr Johnson likens it to being @ your own funeral. Thoughtful texts, and phone calls have poured in. Sweet, tear-filled conversations. Honest words about the highs and lows of international living.

It has been one more reminder of just how rich our life has been here in friendships. How fortunate we have been to meet friends in China, both Chinese and other expats, who like us, are making a home, for a while, in a foreign land.

Despite recent quips to the contrary, I was feeling pretty settled back in QD. China is always more "do-able' when you're on the ground doing it, than somewhere else thinking about it. We were gearing up for the excitement the next two years would bring.

I have appologized to Mr Johnson for my words.

"Just for the record," I said, "You do know that I didn't really mean those things."

He said he understood.

Now, I just need Olympia Dukakis to indemnify me with some straight talk.

"Tai Tai Johnson," I need her to say with a sassy Southern accent,
"Nobody pays any attention to you. . . Now go have a Twinkie."